Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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