Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy at a baseball game....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Skrillex.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops