If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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