What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Apple juice.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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