What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Banana Hamock.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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