A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

Whats funny? Your face.

What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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