I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

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How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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