when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

so...um, yeah

what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

the redsox

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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