Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Albert your flies undone.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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Penis

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops