Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

whats black? the colour

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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