how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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feminine literature

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What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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