A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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A black man comes home from work.

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I HATE G-SPOT AND BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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