your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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