Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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