What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Obama 2012

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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A man walks around a bar.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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