Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Hi

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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