Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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black people

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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