What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

thumb_up thumb_down -36

roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down -38

live or die you decide to late time to die

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops