Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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guest what i love pancakes

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Ben Corbishley

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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