The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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