A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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