Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Your adopted.....

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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I once did something.

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Penis

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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