Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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My dad

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Arrow in the Knee!

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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snooki

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Women's rights...

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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