How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

Q: Why did the black man fall off of the cliff? A: He was the victim of a hate crime and his body had to be dumped somewhere

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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