Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

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HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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