A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops