Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

So a horse walks into a barn.

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

What is pink and gets wet a tounge

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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