What is a jew in space? Dead

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

Your Mom!!!

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

A person from Singapore eats

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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