I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

Shea's sty....

belly button

A seal walks into a club.

Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

Two guys walk into a bar.

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

what is very tall and red a very tall red building

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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