What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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