why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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A kid has no friends.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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