If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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I am very humble.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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