Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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