Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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Laugh

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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