what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call two dog? dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's big and long? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the meaning of life? 42

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i find your gravy quite lumpy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops