Guess what What

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Today is March 22.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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black people

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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