Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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