Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Asians

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

216-409-7176 Call me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Kys

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops