An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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4-4-2

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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