Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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An man walks to a bra

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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What did the Black man get after a month's worth of manual labour? A reasonable wage, that was above the national minimum wage standard which states his and everyones right to a certain amount of money

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Vaginal secretions

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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