What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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