Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

An epileptic man attends a rave.

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

Tic tac toe. I never met my father

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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