What did death say to life? Go die

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

I bet you read this. Told ya.

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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