'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Knock knock What?

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops