Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops