What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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69

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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