Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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