What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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stuarts mum

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops