Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Here's another:

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops