Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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