Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops