Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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The Olympics

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Miley Cyrus.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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